Headaches are a pain in the ass. You know when you want to write so badly but your head just pounds to the point where you can’t look at a screen and need to turn off the lights? That was my night last night. Not quite migraine level, but it was close. So with a heavy heart I turned off the lights and went to bed early. Without writing a piece for yesterday, *grumble grumble* Today I came home exhausted and thought I’d take a quick nap…for an hour. Not ideal. Then I took various steps towards adulthood, like cleaning and organizing my room. Before I know it I’ll be able to afford a dresser and everything. But it’s best I don’t get ahead of myself.
Today is one of those weird days, an off day. Finding motivation was a struggle, which is not alone unique. Work was tiresome today. I sought out inspiration in every moment of boredom, but became restless, going a little crazy in my own mind with it’s blankness. I sought conversation with visitors, most of whom were uninterested. It is crazy how tiring that kind of boredom can be. To yearn for human interaction, but be stuck to a wall, doing your best to engage visitors on a base level. Sometimes I want to yell “Ask me anything! I know stuff, use my knowledge! I can tell you all about what you are going to see next, I can share with you the details that will make it more engaging for you! If only you’d pause to chat!”
There is nothing to do but return tomorrow with a smile and a kindness and hope it will be better. Less boring, less slow, more engaging. Money makes the world go round in the saddest of ways. Soon…soon I will do more than tolerate and occasionally like my job. I’d like to wake up every morning EXCITED to show up to work, loving every aspect, every detail. Today I must remind myself of the good work I am doing and the reasons I do like my work, even though I feel overqualified. The wonderful coworkers, the lessons taught and learned, the lovely visitors, and the hope and strength I am able to impart on many of them. Tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow! It will be good.
Tomorrow I will also write two posts, to make up for my sad day yesterday. I think it’s time to see what Mrs. Peabs has been up to…
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