Productivity is a dirty word… but only when you haven’t reached it yet. Sometimes you can’t remember how you were trying to be productive…what did you want to work on? Distractions. Especially of the kind when you spend your time trying to work with one other person in productivity. Distractions. Like the important conversations that boil at the back of your throat, waiting to be had, choked back by your tonsils. Diversification of projects. Resume? Cover letters. LinkedIn updates? New connections. Who was I supposed to email? What was that job I was supposed to apply to?
Moving toward the creation of something new. A cardboard shelf. Easier said than done as you struggle to find a template or video that takes you where you want to go. “Buy this easy to assemble kit.” “Here is half the design, good luck figuring that shit out!” “This is flimsy and basically useless LOL good luck.” Improvisation. Playing it by ear and “fuck it,” making it happen. Why does this look like a two year old is making it? Exhaustion. Needing a break from the extended exertion on something so seemingly simple that looks like the beginning of a homemade fort that lost steam. In reality, a homemade shelf. But the shelf says to itself “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can” and eventually the shelf will! But more important things that burn the throat take precedence, and the shelf waits. Maybe not patiently. It needs reassurance that someone somewhere will complete. It must trust it will be fulfilled. If only we had duct tape….if only, it would be complete. Maybe…maybe that’s the key. Until duct tape.
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