My go-to quick and easy breakfast is usually oatmeal. I’ve gotten pretty good at estimating the milk to oats ratio, and how much I usually eat. Recently I even began chopping in some apples and adding some cinnamon (really fancy shit, I know). And then a huge hole was gauged out of my life. A hole that was once filled by the glorious microwave that fixes all mistakes. I’ve lived in this apartment almost a month now, and I never brought myself to pull out the oats and conquer this new beast of stove top oatmeal. Until today. I wish I could say that I easily slayed the beast, but that would be a bold faced lie. I wish I could say I slayed the beast at all.

I woke up this morning in a hazy, lazy state at 7:30am. Entirely too early for a Sunday morning when I didn’t have to worry about work. So I stayed lazy in bed until I eventually dozed off again, and woke up again around 9:30, much more acceptable. I finally pulled myself out of bed around 11 to tackle my early morning munchies (I guess most people just call that “hunger,” from not having eaten for the past 12 hours). Armed with my milk, oats, and half an apple, I was ready to make this stovetop oatmeal my bitch. I mean, breakfast. The first problem was the size of our pot and the amount of oatmeal I wanted to make. It was twice the size of any bowl I’d ever microwaved for oatmeal. So I guesstimated…and tried not to use all the milk that was left. Then, you wait for the magic to happen (ie, the milk to boil), and add the oats! I added the oats, but wasn’t quite sure how much to add and all of the sudden I had added TOO MUCH! There was no going back from this horrid mistake. I promptly turned off the heat and added the apples. Hindsight being 20/20….I should have done something to cook or soften the apples sooner! It was too late to worry about that now, and it was apparent that I needed the rest of the milk to make this a palatable meal. I scooped out a bowl to finally “enjoy” my breakfast, and it barely amounted to a third of what I had cooked. I added honey and realized I had forgotten to add the cinnamon. Too late, not worth it.

It was the most sub par oatmeal I have ever had (maybe). The oats were just a tad dry/uncooked, so the oatmeal was too thick. The flavor was lacking. The apples had no time to soften so the texture of the apple skin felt weird with every bite. It was a far cry from the microwave masterpiece I used to create. The lack of cinnamon was like a slap in the face (or tongue? bizarre imagery). The rest of the pot of oatmeal should probably go in the garbage, but I am not one to waste food (especially when I can’t afford to be throwing away food). So I will buy more milk, and add cinnamon as well when I reheat it for breakfast tomorrow. Maybe the apples will surrender to the heat and blend with the oatmeal. Or maybe my life was just not made to accommodate stovetop oatmeal. Next time, we will give the crock pot a turn.

In other news, I had a bizarre-o dream between 7:30 & 9:30 about a crazy serial killer who was this girls dad and he snapped and was trying to kill her. Or chain her in a dungeon, I’m uncertain as I woke up before the dream finished. Weird. Maybe I will “flesh” that out into a short story later.

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